2021.09.20 05:02 henrygb roth pond
2021.09.20 05:02 charliechan123456 any australians selling true 60s/70s vintage?
i've been looking for certain vintage 60s/70s pieces (particularly high rise bell bottoms) for agesss and was just wondering if anyone is selling any? i'd like to follow some shops with older vintage, especially from australia but NZ shops would also be great!
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2021.09.20 05:02 introsort [Hiring] Applied Scientist - Job ID: 1622416 | Amazon.jobs (Amazon)
2021.09.20 05:02 freemaxb40 daily reminder that this is top two greatest debut singles of all time and it’s not number two
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2021.09.20 05:02 vrstudioofficial The Chainsmoker Closer
2021.09.20 05:02 DemiFiendRSA Persona 25th Anniversary Vol.1 [September 2021 issue]
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2021.09.20 05:02 yosark If websites no longer allowed you to appear offline, what would your friends think about your profile?
2021.09.20 05:02 Renioo so explaining grammar makes it a problem?
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2021.09.20 05:02 blinkkkuu This one is from Amazon Canada, new Kindle Paperwhite and Kindle Paperwhite Signature Edition
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2021.09.20 05:02 IamMysticself If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
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2021.09.20 05:02 M1ll312 Printer doesn't print in centre of bed.
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2021.09.20 05:02 Educational-Smoke498 2550-1635-6164 for gifts exchange and remote raids
2021.09.20 05:02 FriendsAndFood Your best friend went down onto their knees, opened a small box with a wedding ring, and proposed to marry you. What do you do?
2021.09.20 05:02 breb_boi thoust ginch
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2021.09.20 05:02 spnsuperfan1 Two new additions to my MHA poster wall
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2021.09.20 05:02 quietreader879 My build so far. I'm trying to keep it under 80,000 simoleons
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2021.09.20 05:02 GameOnBrother I May Destroy You ‘s Michaela Coel delivered the best speech of the Emmys
|submitted by GameOnBrother to GamesAreLife [link] [comments]|
2021.09.20 05:02 phototropism Follow-up to a rupture
Hello talktherapy friends! I’m making a semi-update to my last post about a rupture with my IFS therapist. Things have been really confusing, and I stopped checking this sub—reading posts about therapy was making me more confused about how therapy was going for me overall.
It’s been several weeks since the big rupture. In that time I began to bounce in and out of hyperarousal, to the point where I would wake up in the early morning with my heart racing out of anger and fear. I was still angry and hurt from our rupture, and I didn’t feel some of those feelings had been adequately addressed. But I was scared of causing more conflict by addressing how I felt, so I put all of this aside for my next few sessions. We had several sessions where we talked about how I interpret certain facial and verbal cues, and even a session where we got along really well and he expressed I was a thoughtful friend (to the people in my life). But after these sessions, I got backlash from my parts for withholding my true feelings. I was experiencing hypervigilance and chest pains all days of the week, and I knew parts of me weren’t going to let it go if I didn’t honor their needs.
Here’s here’s a recap of my last session. My memory of what happened is already becoming distorted—a part of my brain definitely shut off at a certain point during the conflict—but this is what I remember:
I was really afraid because I didn’t know how it was going to go, but I also knew what I had to do. I led with how it was hard to speak. I told him that I knew he didn’t intend to cause harm, but that harm can happen with good intentions, too. I was honest that I was still upset about the things that had happened between us, and reiterated some of my feelings that I felt hadn’t been addressed. I told him I felt some of the things he’d said were extremely harmful, and about how this was affecting my nervous system on the day-to-day. I was disappointed because I’d trusted him, I truly was giving therapy my all, and I didn’t feel that was being appreciated. I’ve been waiting my whole life to get help, and that I understood this was his job, but this was my life.
When he responded, he said he was clearly causing harm, and that he ethically could not continue to work with me if this was the case. He said this several times. If I’m to be honest about how I felt in the moment, I think I was hurt and disappointed but not surprised. Really I had just wanted him to apologize, although I think he felt he already had.
T: See? It’s happening again. I can see it in how your body language just shifted. There’s another part that’s coming up, and they’re not able to accept what I’m saying.
Me: But what am I even supposed to say to that?
T: It’s hard for me to meet each part’s needs when you’re speaking from a blended place. A lot of your parts have conflicting needs, and they switch very quickly.
Me: I understand, and I agree to an extent, but I’m really asking for something simple.
T: I understand you feel that way, and I’m telling you it’s always more complicated.
We went through a lot of back and forth, where I kept telling him what I was looking for and he kept telling me how he had been trying to show up.
Me: I know we talked last week about how my parts feel really threatened by you. You had asked me, “How can I show them I’m not trying to extinguish them?” —why wouldn’t you phrase it as a statement, ie. “I’m not trying to extinguish them”?
T: Can you hear how those are different statements, but they mean something similar?
Me: I really don’t feel that way.
He said twice that he felt our previous session had gone really well and I didn’t say anything. I pushed along pretty matter-of-factly:
Me: So how do you usually do termination?
T: It’s mostly what we’re already doing—summarizing how treatment has gone, and if needed, I can make a referral. What have you been doing with your EMDR therapist?
Me: Have you been sharing notes?
T: No, I’ve been busy trying to repair this relationship.
Me: It’s mostly been resourcing, somatic techniques, and IFS.
T: Okay. Do you feel you can trust them?
Me: I don’t know. My trust in therapy has been shaken as a whole.
T: And I’m sorry I did that.
When he said that, the part of me that’s constantly scanning for an apology finally quieted down. I was still feeling defensive, and for a while I didn’t say much. He said I might not feel this way, but that he’d seen a lot of growth in me, even during just the couple of months we’ve worked together. He hoped my impending move out-of-state goes well, that it seems like it could solve a lot of problems for me.
The next part surprised me. He also said I’m very emotionally intelligent, acknowledged I’ve been through a lot of painful things, and if all of my stuff wasn’t so complicated, there’s no doubt I would’ve able to figure it out on my own. He’d also brought me up in supervision, where he talked about how I was willing to stand up for what was right in a situation where the cards were stacked against me, despite having so much racial trauma. He said not many people are like that.
He said I could always email if I needed anything, and that he would like to see me again if he could figure out a different way of showing up. I said I was under the impression he didn’t like me and he was sorry I’d been feeling that way. Then he ended up asking if I wanted to have a session next week, and I accepted. Before the session ended he asked me about my plans for self-care and validated some of my frustrations around having so many parts.
All in all, it’s been a very confusing time. After our first major rupture, I was definitely under the impression my therapist was just putting up with me. He’d previously admitted to having some trouble attuning to me, in addition to how some of my emotional cues had been lost to telehealth. It made me wonder if he could attune to me at all. Many times he would be quiet after I had opened up, and I wondered if he was even listening. I definitely felt like my vulnerability was being taken for granted. My last session cleared up a lot of these apprehensions. He reflected a lot of things I’d said, and it was clear that he had been listening, and that he did care—it just wasn’t always packaged in a way that I was able to metabolize because of my trauma. Which I guess is, in part, what he’s been trying to say all along.
I guess I’m making this post in part because it’s very easy to seek advice on here and really soak up the energy of other (wonderful and empathetic) clients being on your side. The “they’re a bad therapist!” narrative can really get to your head. In reality I do think things can be a bit more complicated—not in all cases, but certainly in mine.
I do think my therapist will continue to trigger me with how he shows up, even though I know that isn't his intent. And while I do sometimes wish he would just give me what I want, I also don’t think it’s fully on him. Other therapists didn’t trigger me the same way he does, but I wasn’t as bonded to them. My internal system is highly defended and I can see how that makes any kind of intense relationship difficult. In contrast to modalities like CBT or DBT, IFS has been really hard for me. I am a client with very, very many parts (like a comical amount) that show up all at once, and it’s extremely challenging for me to untangle them. Half the time I can’t even keep track of how many parts I have and what’s going on. I suspect this will continue to come up as long as I’m in trauma therapy, so it was helpful to learn this about myself.
Anyway, thanks for giving me the space to untangle my thoughts re: therapy.
(Also, I doubt my T would ever find this because I’m sure he has better things to do…but if you’re reading this, please let me know in session. lol.)
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2021.09.20 05:02 KarlJamero10 What happened to ya?
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2021.09.20 05:02 jillybeaners94 [US to US][SELL/SWAP/ISO][PERFUME]Mostly FS BPAL, Arcana, NCD, Astrid, etc.
Lots of scents and that didn't work for me, let me pass them on to you or let's swap!
The [goods are located here.](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1tCLGjMhaie4hm6MTC7ESpF93chlEaPW4QddFtCqFYcc/edit?usp=sharing
US only please.
2021.09.20 05:02 skylargoo I stream on weekends! Subscribe if you are instead in my climb!
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2021.09.20 05:02 2AmazingFeat Curves
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2021.09.20 05:02 FrostyTheSnowPickle My friend’s gnome druid from several years ago, printed by HF, painted by yours truly.
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2021.09.20 05:02 kumgongkia How do people play the dynasty game and avoid having their land split over and over again?
I tried focusing on dynasty the first time, had 16 kids of which 3 are sons (pretty fking lucky if it's 50/50).
Third son is the only one with good congenital traits, the other 2 are mediocre.
Managed to disinherit 1 before I die. When succession happened, the heir kept the original kingdom + 2 duchies while the remaining automatically formed into a larger kingdom (I didn't have normal partition since it's not even early medieval yet, discovered the succession tab this run lol)
Then it all went to hell. Fought the brother with better stats AND larger kingdom. Had a son with no wife so I thought to marry one thats 45. Still managed to get pregnant and it's a son. I got assassinated right after I won the war and then my kingdom got split again between 2 sons...
Should I have stayed small? I understand that without better succession laws I should only keep one of the highest title but I didn't know about the auto forming part. Also I tried sending out the useless sons in losing battles but he just won't die.
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2021.09.20 05:02 Hefty_Army_5490 I feel like the inflatable cow should be a item that return in some seasons.
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